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It must be annoying for nudists when they have to clean their glasses
Remember when we thought it would be fun to grow up and have jobs? LOL
Don`t just lay there... Move! Bounce! Do something!! ~ me, pleading with my hair
A mistress is something between a Mister and a mattress.
So far my bracket is perfect! I can`t wait to fill the rest of it in.
Sometimes I like to hold the door for people who are far away so they feel obligated to run just a little. ;)
Some people want to get in shape before they go to a gym. Which is the equivalent of losing weight so you can go on a diet
I hate it when Hippos fall on me when walking home from school... :D
Why do people ask “What the hell were you thinking?” Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.
Chinese scientists have discovered the rare rock n roll panda it will only eat A wop bop a loo lop a wop Bamboo
The greatest fear is NOT fear itself. It’s dropping your phone in a port-a-potty!
DOCTORS WRITING: "?? ?? ??." HOW I SEE IT: "?????." HOW THE PHARMACIST SEES IT: "Aspirin."
Thought I saw a kangaroo today but turned out to be a greyhound having a dump !
Sharks aren’t so bad. If some stranger entered my house wearing only a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.
They say 1 minute of kissing burns 26 calories. No wonder sluts are so damn skinny.