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I used to be a class act......or clown,as my 7th grade teacher would tell my parents!!
Happy President`s day all. Heading out to buy a new mattress.
Its all fun and games..until you get stuck on a level of candy crush!!!
I feel so stupid for cashing in my retirement account early. But then I always feel stupid using the Coinstar machine.
I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi
It may look like I`m doing nothing, but I`m actively waiting for my problems to go away.
I left a note in the break room at work saying I had found five bucks. I hadn`t found any money, but it was worth five dollars to learn which of my co-workers is a lying douchebag.
Instead of the John, I call my bathroom the Jim...that way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim every morning.
I`ve been single so long now I don`t remember what it`s like for someone to be mad at me for something I didn`t even know it did!
You know if you say gullible slowly it sounds like oranges :)
According to this BMI chart ... I am to short.
I could snap at any moment. Seriously, with either hand.
The text message is the new greeting card, but without any hope that there will be money inside.
Sleep is like a time machine to breakfast.
When I am working, I get paid to be nice. I don`t understand why my friends and family expect me to do it for free during my time off.