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Don`t hate me because I think I`m beautiful.
Sandals or shoes? I have adorable toes. All 12
I liked you until you started ignoring me and then I loved you. -Girls ---- Bfanch
If one of Santa`s helpers takes a picture of himself with his smartphone, is that an "elfie"?
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I`m making important life decisions.
Guess what I saw today? ... Everything I looked at.
I can`t wait to get home and have make-up sex! ... I`ve been arguing all day with myself.
Comment if you think I`m normal... Like this if you think I`m crazy... Copy this if you know your crazy too! And if your me... OMG TURKEY SQUIRREL! :)
Thanks coffee for tricking us into believing that it`s a good morning for a few minutes.
It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist`s finger before she stops believing that you`re doing it accidentally.
If I ever win the lottery and someone asks me for money I`m going to give them a dollar and say "Here. Go play the Lottery. That`s what I did."
Good neighbors do not put password on their wi-fi.
To avoid being eaten by Zombies go to "settings", "public", and uncheck the box that says "Facebook users taste like chicken"
R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)
Dr. Oz says having 1/2 hour of sex is equivalent to running 6 miles. I guess I`m going to the gym today.