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is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
“Check that sh!t out” luckily rarely refers to actual sh!t.
My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex but my girlfriend insists it says dyslexia.
Facebook- to help future generations discover if there`s ever been any mental illness in the family.
Some psychologists say that sleeping naked can help boost a person`s confidence, but nobody in this park seems to appreciate it.
Siblings – the only people who will pick on you and then kick the a$$es of anyone else who does it.
Don´t be stupid, it´s not smart.
Well h€ll, I was going to post a status about my p€cker, but it was too long.
Hell, I finally figured out what was wrong with me ... I have been reading the wrong horoscope!!
When a guy says "I`m Fine" what he is really trying to say is that he is fine.
I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them
Always look your best, cause you never know when your family is going to surprise you with an intervention.
My p@nis was in the Guiness Book of Records. Untill the librarian kicked me out
I don`t like people who hate certain group of people. But I get along very well with people who hate everybody equally.