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Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
I have to wonder why we have "non-essential" government employees in the first place.
I don`t think my blind date was blind, she read the menu and caught the basketball I threw at her
Since my girlfriend has gotten pregnant alot has changed... Like my name, address and telephone number.
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!
Let`s party like there`s no tomorrow and call in sick if there is one.
Getting up in the morning is like writing an essay. You want to do it, it takes a lot of effort, and you usually quit halfway through.
Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
There are times, when I actually am hungry like the wolf. But thanks to Duran Duran I can`t tell anyone without sound like a complete f*cking idiot
Don`t tell me what to do unless you`re naked.
Being normal? Ugh. I can`t imagine how awful that must be.
"I get knocked down, but I get up again, You`re never gonna keep me down" ~Bowling pins
"With a stroke of a pen your name can live on forever in a quote!... Unknown,
Dear person reading this, just want you to know that someone cares about you. It`s not me, but I`m sure someone does...
Some days you`re the Titanic, some days you`re the iceberg, and some days you`re the guy who jumped off and hit a propeller on the way down.