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If they just built prisons out of the sh!t they package electronics in, no one could ever escape.
Seeing a spider isn`t a problem. It becomes a problem when the spider disappears.
I`ve been hiding from exercise. I`m in the fitness protection program.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
Summer is almost over...All you half-naked people are gonna need to find a personality.
If McDonald`s was smart they`d serve breakfast until 2pm on the weekends.
Cooking Tip: If you`re tired of always having to boil water everytime you make pasta, boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later ... you`re welcome!
The Four Seasons, by Facebook: Spring: LOOK FLOWERS! Summer: LOOK AT MY DASHBOARD TEMP! Fall: LOOK LEAVES! Winter: MORE DASHBOARD PICS!
The reason dogs look confused when you open the refrigerator door is because they`re thinking "Why don`t you just eat ALL the food?"
DAMN IT!!!!! I just ripped the tag off one of my Beanie Babies! Now it`s worthless!!
Size does matter ... When ordering a pizza
My husband`s wife is freakin` awesome!
I may not be the only egomaniac around here, but Iām the only one that matters.
They say 15 minutes of exercise every day will add 3 years to your life. The problem is that it adds the 3 years to your 80s not your 30s.
Home is where the alcohol is.