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Black ice is just like regular ice except it dies first in movies.
Perhaps we should hold elections on the last Friday of November, with polling stations at Walmart, Target and Apple
Lol at birds that walk places.
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
Shout out to good looking women who date unattractive men who aren`t rich, thanks for keeping hope alive.
On your birthday I think the Airlines should let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide.
What’s the answer to this question?
If you ever feel like a failure, just know that somewhere in the world, someone just lost their straw inside a Capri Sun.
Go ahead, judge me. Wait, let me get my bat first. Alright, I`m ready now.
Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them.
How do we not have lightsabers yet? Its like scientists aren´t even trying.
Nicknames are way more fun when people don’t know they have them.
It’s too bad that it’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
I hate long distance relationships. That`s why I moved the fridge into my bedroom.
If Guys Wrote Valentine’s Cards: “I don’t even need beer to think you’re attractive.”