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Try sliding down a water slide without running water to realize how important foreplay is
I send more time looking for porn than actually watching it.
Black Friday is Americas version of running with the bulls.
Ah Friday...my second favorite "F" word!
I got drunk last night and my house wasn`t where I left it.
If you spotted a white guy with headphones throwing gang signs on the subway today, that was just me listening to the soundtrack of Frozen.
"What`s wrong?" "Oh it`s personal" Then, why`d you post it to Facebook.
Today`s brilliant idea: Slim Fast beer.
scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal my status
When someone calls you a bitch just say a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are nature and nature is beautiful. thanks for the compliment ;)
This healthy diet thing is dangerous. I just cut myself peeling an apple. This would have never happened to me with a twinkie.
If it makes you feel better, don’t call it “Premature Ejaculation.” Call it “Speed Dating”
Some people are good listeners. Mostly, though, they`re just nodding and thinking about bacon.
The real plot hole in Cinderella was that if everything disappeared at midnight why did the shoe stay?
Monday morning coffee is just as important as friday night liquor....almost.