Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Really had my heart set on waking up rich today.
I`m going to make a bucket list: Things I`m going to do before I kick the bucket. Number 1: WEAR SHOES!!!
Pizza will never tell you to apologize to your mother in law
Watching movies alone sucks. There´s no one to ask, "What did he just say? Who is that guy?"
Its hotter than a three peckered billy goat!
Fitness nuts have to do an entire marathon to feel a runner`s high..... I just have to bend over and tie my shoes.
A moment of silence to all the kids who can’t wait to become a teenager because they think it’s fun..
I`ve never watched a clown apply makeup but I imagine the process is similar to that of a Kardashian.
Do feminists look under their beds for the boogie woman?
You know you drank too much if you have to wait until your court appearance to find out what the hell happened that night
Answering your cell when you don`t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.
I once dated a woman who thought windmills were solar powered. I`m so glad I don`t drink anymore.
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
I find it quite ironic that the most dangerous thing about weed is getting caught with it.
Facebook is the reason why my work is not done.