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My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.
I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
If you`ve Liked more than 15 of my posts over the past year, I assume you`re okay with me putting you down as a personal reference on this job application, k?
When someone shows you they don`t want to be a part of your life, let them go. I`m not saying you can`t make a voodoo doll of them, though.
....so then I said, "What gives YOU the right to judge ME?" And then he gets all, "Order in the court!" and starts pounding his gavel down...
No matter how old you are, If a little kid shoots you with a toy gun, you pretend to die.
It’s amazing how everyone cries for free speech until someone says something that they don’t like.
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food
Rump roast is called rump roast because nobody would eat it if it was called cow`s ass
Line forms here for spankings
FACT: Men are much less likely to divulge a secret than women. Probably because they weren`t really listening to begin with.
Due to the rising cost of ammunition I will no longer be able to provide a warning shot. Thanks for your understanding.
Sometimes, when dealing with people, you can`t help but stop and think, "Yup, I`m about to get my first assault charge."
Do you want to hear a joke about constipation and dementia? ...Well, tough sh!t, I forgot it.