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If I go missing this holiday season and there’s a big search party out looking for me, you can save time by not looking at the gym.
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
Bitches be trippin..... ok, maybe I pushed that one.
If Monday had a face... I`d punch it.
Few things are creepier than someone saying "I know" after you introduce yourself.
I hate that I have to put on clothes to participate in society.
I tried to open a can of WhoopAss,, but it popped like a can of biscuits and scared me.
People who actually rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation.
Some young men are like bottles of wine. They need to be tended to carefully & given time to mature; which is why I keep a few in my cellar.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house.
If steroids are illegal for athletes shouldn`t photoshop be illegal for models?
people say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but it`s the only way I can talk to you.
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
Keep it up and I`ll make sure u end up on a milk carton.
I scream. You scream. The police come ... It`s awkward ;)