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Women don`t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think.
I wonder what “don’t touch” is in Braille....
Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in cages. We just want to set them free and play with them.
Why does the need to pee intensify by million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house.
Deadliest Catch and Jersey Shore - two reality tv shows about catching crabs
why call it ordering pizza and not the pursuit of happiness
I don`t think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated.
The old saying "I wouldn`t wish this on my worst enemy"... Clearly you have forgotten why they are your worst enemy.
If you’re gonna keep being so attractive, I’m gonna need you to make out with me.
If you`re gonna label the silica gel "do not eat", maybe you should label everything in the box. I almost ate a shoe before someone stopped me
How awesome would it be if boobs made maraca sounds when you shook them? LOL
A new heavy metal Christian Rock band will soon be releasing their debut album. They`re called Nuns `n` Moses.
Half of my day is just me screaming profanities at an electronic device.
I don`t know why I even bother chewing corn.
I`ve decided!! I’m giving up my New Years resolutions for Lent.