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It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Except when you’re heading to the bathroom with explosive diarrhea.
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
You know you`re up really late at night when you turn on ESPN and 2 white guys are boxing!
I couldn’t believe it yesterday, when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn’t actually mine. She says that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school…
I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to “Is there a doctor on the plane?”
Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I`m looking for the thumbs-down button.
went to vegas: put a coin in the machine and a prize came out, put another coin and another prize came out...problem is i don`t know what to do with all these empty cans now.
I will always be here for you. Unless we run out of beer and someone has some over there. Then I will be over there for you.
"I know im the best driver on the road" thinks every guy.
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
Good morning my friends ... Wait a minute ... What the f*ck am I doing up this early.
There`s no hiding it, my ex sucks at school... And in cars, alleys, and public restrooms...
My coworkers sending dirty messages to other coworkers when I leave my computer unlocked is why I have trust issues. ... and dates.
I really like what you`ve done with your crazy.
It`s not stalking if you love them!