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The moment you stop giving a damn is the moment things get easier and better.
I believe pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens
I want to start a womans magazine called "Period". ..then every few months I`ll send it out late JUST to freak them out. ;)
I don`t care if it`s a kidnapping/murder; if you tell me a monkey will be involved, I`m 97% more likely to participate.
A person soon learns how little they know when a child begins to ask questions.
I`m only 30 lbs away from my New Year`s resolution to lose 20 lbs!!
I can`t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes.
The trouble with jogging is, that by the time you realize you`re not in shape, it`s too far to walk back.
Words and phrases I hope do not appear in my obituary: "Skeletal remains", "Dumpster", "Beyond recognition", "Decapitated", "Dental records", "Shallow grave", "Strewn", and "Suicide by Cop."
Man I love watching women`s curling in the Olympics. It`s the only time I get to drink beer while cheering on women sweeping and no one slaps me.
I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn`t care.....Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0
Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.
There is no better sunscreen than sitting in a bar.
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.
The problem with reality is that there’s no background music, so you never really know whether something mysterious, evil or adventurous is about to happen.