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Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad.
Sarcasm, I put that sh!t on everything
Every time you have McDonald’s as a kid, it’s a victory. Every time you have it as an adult, it’s a defeat.
why hello there stalker! Enjoying my profile?(=
FB friends, no one gives a ratsass what concerts you went to...
wants to come back as a bird after I die.... just so i can sh!t on the people who piss me off.
I wonder how many messengers were killed before they came up with the saying.
My Dr said I am a sex addict. I ask him how he knew and he said you are a man.
It`s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager.
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible
If I had a nickel for everytime I said, "If I had a nickel", I`d be rich.
I find if you sprinkle some bacon bits on a salad, but don’t actually add any salad, then its a pretty good salad.
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.
Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him..
Life is to short ... to waste time matching socks.