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Yes I have a dirty mind ... And you`re on it!
Check out more at Almost Silly Statuses
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
Dear American Express, can you raise my debt ceiling?? Thx, bro.
Its hotter than a three peckered billy goat!
I saw a baby wearing a bib that said, “This dumbass put my cape on backwards”
Dear sneeze, If you`re gonna happen, happen. Don`t put a stupid look on my face and leave
I thought I was feeling a little bloated today, turns out I had my underwear on backwards.
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
The well behaved rarely make history.
I want to live in a world where the Food Network delivers.
There are people on Facebook who don`t realize the difference between "What`s on your mind" or "I should talk to a therapist about this"
If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, does it really have calories?
Listen lady, if you stopped screaming maybe you would enjoy holding hands with me.
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.