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Looks like Waldo got on the malasian plane.. well played waldo.. well played..
It`s not so much that I wanted to drink the whole bottle of wine, I just couldn`t figure out how to get the cork back in it.
Why doesn’t The Rock just tell us what he’s cooking? I can’t pair wines like this.
I`d say 20% of my day is spent trying to convince the dog we`re not about to be murdered by the UPS guy, mailman, squirrels, or the ice dispenser..
But what if bygones want to be something else? ;)
It`s only a 4 way stop if each driver can read
A cheap way to get Botox face is by walking your dog in zero degree temperature.
Of course I can keep a secret. It’s the people I tell it to who can’t.
If you use more toilet paper to wipe the tears out of your eyes then wip your bum in the morning...the food was too hot the night before
All the good ones are either taken or imaginary.
The guy who invented the Time Machine has just died.... RIP DAVE JONES 2187-2014
In the morning there`s a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:05.
"I love you unconditionally*." -God *certain terms and conditions apply. See Bible for more details.
My Wife asked, "Would you like a romantic interlude?" I said, "Does a bear crap in the woods?". Wish I`d just said `Yes`, she`s been on Google ever since.
Is it just me, or would those movies had been far scarier if they were titled "Monday the 13th"