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HardCoreStrategy 22 hours ago 6 3? Guys are? in a cafe. The first guy says "I?? have the smallest arm in the? world." The second guy says I have the?? smallest head in? the world." The third guy says I have the smallest d^ck in the world. They all? go to? the Guinness Book of World records. The? first? guy comes back and says I really? have the smallest arm in the world. The seconds guy? returns and? says? I have the smallest head in the world. The third guy comes back? and angrily?? says WHO? T
Back in my day, we didn’t have Instagram. We had to bore people in person with photo albums.
If you don`t think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you`re probably the boss
The difference between cheating on your wife and cheating on your taxes is if you tell the truth, the IRS still wants to f*ck you.
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
I was halfway through a recipe when I read the instruction "Now chill in fridge for at least two hours". I only managed 30 minutes. I was freezing.
My business card is just a picture of me looking inside the fridge.
Have you ever thought about how weird it is that one of your hands is dumber than the other?
For my next trick, I’ll turn this 12 pack of beer into drunk dialing/texting.
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.
I say if you can`t come up with anything nice to say then post it on Facebook.
So apparently airport security doesn`t like it when you call shotgun before boarding a plane.
People say I`m too patronising (that means I treat them as if they`re stupid).
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page
Now they are saying that the Zika virus is sexually transmittable. What kind of pervert is having sex with a mosquito?