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WORST.... APOCALYPSE..... EVER.....
If my computer desktop were an actual place, they would bring in blindfolded people to make a Febreeze commercial.
The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
Buying new Nikes, call that soul searching
200 pictures of you at the bar and 2 pictures with your kids. You must be quite the mom.
Apparently Home Depot`s slogan of "You can do it; We can help" doesn`t apply to masturbation.
A genius would have put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
I`m worried that my guardian angel is a crack head.
Is it just me, or that sea witch Ursula from the Little Mermaid inspired from a full blown flamboyant drag queen?
I can`t remember if I have any repressed memories.
My wife said to go out and buy something that makes her look hot & sexy for Valentine`s Day! So I got drunk.
I try to do all my pooping at work. Cause if you can get paid to poop, you`d be a fool not to.
*sigh* the cop at the front door is never a stripper when you need it to be
Whoever said you can’t “like” your own status is just not awesome enough to do it.
The only good thing about being an alcoholic is that no one ever asks me to drive them anywhere.