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is 100% sure that you are looking at my status. (:
And then her mood ring just...exploded
Just once when they interview a serial killer’s neighbor I’d like to hear them say “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me, he was a real Weirdo”
I like to dump Skittles in the toilet and then flush it because it looks like a little tiny NASCAR race.
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is.
I didn´t outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
Well, the people outside are frightful.
Roses are Red Violets are Blue, If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
I`m at my most likable before you get to know me.
Dear Gangsta: If you pulled up your pants a little you could run from the cops faster.
To the dude I just saw driving a beat up Ford mini van with spare tire and dream catcher on mirror: that dream catchers not working dude!
Can I tell you how terribly grateful I am that no one had cell phones, iPads or digital cameras when I had to squaredance in P.E.
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
When I`m bored, I like to superglue Doritos to my cat and make it run around the house like a stegosaurus.
I just did a weeks worth of cardio after I walked into a spider`s web.