Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
No one has ever said, "You know what would make this even better? ... Turkey bacon."
Some men get naked when they have to count up to 21...
I`m about as lost as lesbian on ChristianMingle.com
No matter what the product, a good way to throw off an aggressive salesman is to interrupt him and ask, “Yes, but does it work on cats?”
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes...Can you pick me up some beer on your way back?
Would you be a deer and run out in front of my car for me?
I don`t mind my long commute, I just hate that it always brings me to work.
Sunday morning = lazy lay in my bed and fart under my sheets all day :)
? Taken ? Single ? So sexy that they’re all scared to go out with me.
I want rich people problems. Like where to land my private jet.
I am going to open "The Karma Cafe" There will be no menus though. You will get what you deserve!
Hey Pringles, it`s time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn`t exactly thin-wristed.
If offering people gum is cooking, then yes, I cook.
People with no money sure do have a lot of pot.