Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them......the police call it indecent exposure but whatever.
I wonder what “don’t touch” is in Braille....
Why hasn`t anyone invented a button next to the snooze which emails your boss to say you`re gonna be late?
Apparently sleeping your way to the top doesn`t mean dozing off in meetings or taking naps in the copier room.
is accepting applications. Needed someone to keep me from doing dumb stuff. See previous post.
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good.
The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds
The Theory of Relativity: Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives.
My life is spent trying to get people to give me the silent treatment.
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that`s another weakness
Baby.. I wanna be the reason you need therapy.
I don`t think we appreciate this era enough. For instance, none of us will see old photos of our moms whoring it up on Instagram.
One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.
The real plot hole in Cinderella was that if everything disappeared at midnight why did the shoe stay?
Who wants to go Smart Car Tipping?