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I`m pretty sure my guardian angel just sits there watching me suffer, while rolling her eyes and painting her nails.
I just told my brother he was adopted, his response was, "At least they picked me"
Great idea for an April Fools Prank ... Hide all of the desktop icons on someone`s computer and replace their wallpaper with a screenshot of their old desktop.
I`m starting to think the Hangover Fairy and the Angel of Death are the same person.
I live in fear that one day the real "World`s Greatest Dad" is going to show up to reclaim his rightful mug.
Pool party at my house, bring ur own pool..
I`m tough and can take whatever life throws at me ... Especially if its dipped in chocolate first.
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
You trust me holding your child? Do you know how many iPhone screens I’ve cracked?
No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you.No thank you. I just want the oil change
I would unblock you but then I`d be admitting I`d made a mistake and that`s just not my thing.
I was born at a very early age.
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday.
How many times do I have to say "excuse me" before "get the f*ck out of my way" becomes acceptable?