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I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet ... I get hungry.
Why periods? Why can`t Mother Nature just text me and be like, "Whaddup Girl?, You ain`t pregnant. Have a great week. Talk to ya next month."
I wish you could Google anything. Like, "Where the f*ck is my remote?" and it would be like, "It`s under the couch dumbass."
Are you guys sure common sense can`t be beaten into people ? Because I`d like to give it try!
You can’t choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls.
Hello...
"Sleeping on the couch" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
Why can’t I lose weight easily I mean I lose everything else without a problem.
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
I think I`ve finally found someone I could spend the rest of my life with, I should probably get out of her closet and introduce myself.
I just got an email telling me how I can have fuller, firmer breasts. I can`t wait to show them to my wife!!
I can`t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
Who ever invented the knock knock joke should get the no bell prize.
Basically anything you buy at the hardware store looks like you`re getting ready to take hostages.