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Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "Oh dear, this is going to take more than one night."
People say love is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.
!f yhu T@k yk d!$, then dont talk to me.
My friend sent his wedding invitation from Facebook Event. I sent him a gift from Farmville.
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
My neighbours are loud and obnoxious. Now I know how Canada feels.
What do you mean my bathrobe is inappropriate? Isn`t it casual Friday?!
The Three Up`s in life: 1. Show 2. Keep 3. Shut
Man I love watching women`s curling in the Olympics. It`s the only time I get to drink beer while cheering on women sweeping and no one slaps me.
The problem with money is that too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books
Just got back from the car dealership and long story short, I`m now the proud owner of a giant circus tent.
I feel sorry for men who don’t know how to value women. One look at a woman and I know how much she will cost me.