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I hit a parked car today so naturally I left a note. It said "Die, Decepticons! Die!"
I like to sit outside on campus at night in my 1940s clothes and when people say things to me, I say "You can see me?"
The best moments in life are the ones you don`t tell anyone about.
You`re so dumb you have to get naked to count to 21.
There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing next to you right now, and you`d have no Idea...
You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”
I noticed you`re not yourself today. I really like it.
I’ve already decided, if I ever go to The Price Is Right, I’m gonna “come on down” whether they call my name or not.
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
Just found out my daughter`s super power is repeating what I`ve said about others as soon as she meets them.
There’s so many people I’d love to get the silent treatment from
My daughter said, "You`re the best mommy ever!" I`m really proud that she`s learning sarcasm at such a young age.
Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally
Im having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... alright by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
I can see your camouflage pants, so they`re not working.