Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The worst part about looking for a job is if you`re successful, you end up with a job.
Behind every great woman there is a man who loves doggystyle.
Doctor: Do you drink alcohol? Me: Why? What`ve you got?
Thank goodness I`m loud and obnoxious all the time, so my family can`t blame it on the alcohol.
My dentist just told me I need a crown..... I know, right??
When you msg me @ 9:30am w/ just "Morning," don`t be shocked when I wait till 12:00pm & respond w/ "Noon." Seriously, what did ya expect?
I wish I had the balls to be a juggler.
Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life! Unless you’re an idiot. In that case, please listen carefully.
Left the toilet seat up. Wife screaming in 5, 4, 3, 2...
It`s fun to chant "Bloody Mary" three times into your car`s side mirror while driving at night and watch her jog to keep up
There is no one more trustworthy than Clark Kent`s dry cleaner.
Ironman and Batman`s only super powers is being super rich and smart really makes Bill Gates a real disappointment.
The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest....
Depending on the boob, the Bra is either the best or worst invention ever.
A real friend is someone who knows how damn crazy you are... But is still willing to be seen out in public with you.