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Sometimes my neighbors love my music so much that they invite the police to listen.
Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
Patient: "The problem is that obesity runs in my family." Doctor: "No, the problem is no one runs in your family."
Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
I can’t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend.
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood, until they move...
It`s weird how in England the passenger drives the car
I’m eating just in case I get hungry later
I swear my bed just whispered "Please Don`t go."
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
I`d like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
I don`t know about you....but I have thought about running away from home way more as an adult than I ever did as a kid.
Airplanes: offering you the comforts of gas station food/drinks at popular night club prices
I snuck popcorn into the movie theater but they won’t let me use their microwave.
I need a six month vacation Twice a year.