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Since you were smiling when you tazed me, I`m guessing we still have a chance.
They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
I was visited by three spirits last night, Vodka, Rum And Gin. . .
I love you all so much right now because, well, alcohol.
There is really no way of knowing how many chameleons are in the room right now.
I never make plans until I know how I am getting out of them.
I hate it when my fat makes me look fat.
would a fly without wings be called a walk?
I have never preheated an oven but I have pre-eaten a frozen pizza.
The key to eating healthy is to avoid any food that has a TV commercial.
Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth … and drink all the vodka inside … It seems to help
I robbed a bank yesterday....now the question is, what to do with all that sperm....
We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we`re terrified people in real life will find us on the internet
We could learn a lot from bees. Organization, productivity, community sacrifice, stinging people who annoy us.......
I`ll be glad when it`s warm enough to pee outside