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Marriage (Possible side effects may include sadness, anger, sudden drop in finances, depression, sexual abstinence, and sobriety)
I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
I want to cover you in expensive things…like gasoline.
Why is it when you go to get your drivers license photo, they tell you to smile. Your not smiling when the police pull you over.
It`s amazing how many people are diagnosed with a disease as soon as there`s a pill available for it.
The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows sincerely & does exactly as he says is a photographer
Let me be honest, I dont even walk a mile in my own shoes.
If anyone is looking for an unlicensed helicopter pilot give me a call. . .
Do you think that the guy that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
I keep my TV volume at "screw the neighbors".
Does "who cares" count as advice?
homework wont kill me, but why take the risk!
You really are the cat`s pajamas, and by that I mean you`re a stupid idea.
The only thing more amusing than someone leaving a voicemail is them asking if you actually listened to it.
roses are red,violets are blue,god made me beautiful, what happen to you..