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I got all my Christmas shopping done. Hope everyone likes bunny ears, ornamental grass, and discounted peeps.
Do you suppose prison guards could use `PROACTIV` to prevent outbreaks?
People with 1 syllable names ruin the happy birthday song
says if you don`t like the way I live my life, than there is some good news... you aren`t me!!
The best thing about humans is that many of the richest and most prosperous among us collect bottles of rotten grape juice.
Let`s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being too lazy that I don`t even do anything about it.
Not to brag, but I’m pretty good in bed. I don’t snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.
The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat…It’s watching what other people eat.
I like it here because not only do I get to air out my dirty laundry, I get to see yours too.
By thigh gap you mean the distance between the KFC and my mouth right.
Dear middle finger: thank you for always sticking up for me.
Show me on the back of your mini van window where your life went wrong.
I`m saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.
A great thing about being single is never having to erase your history tab.