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The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
I`m in hospital after eating what i thought was onions instead they were daffodil bulbs. Its ok doctors say i will be out in spring.
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
If you are a turkey right now and someone offers to cut off your head, stuff you full of dressing, and cook you, do not do it. It is a trap.
joined a nudist colony last week ... the first few days were the hardest!
You know your a$s is ugly when you`re the one always asked to take the photo.
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. I ate a pizza.
It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist`s finger before she stops believing that you`re doing it accidentally.
I could defuse a bomb if it sounded like an alarm clock and I was sleeping.
The easiest way to escape a conversation is to interrupt the other person and say "this conversation is going great" every few seconds
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in a court of law someday.
When I was little I didn`t care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it`s obvious that my parents didn`t care either.
Just tried to put my seatbelt on ... at my desk ... I`m pretty.
The only thing I can fix in this world tonight is another drink.