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It may look like I’m in deep thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food I’m going to eat later.
Tomorrow I will live in the moment, unless it`s unpleasant, in which case I will eat a cookie.
Who needs a social life when you have Netflix and a fridge full of food?
If you say married people aren’t having sex, you have obviously never sat in a hotel bar & watched them pick up strangers.
I just wanted you all to know that I’m leaving Facebook. This ride has been a blast and I’ve made a ton of friends who I really do consider friends in the truest sense. Your humor and wit is amazing. I’ll miss all of you, but I’ve decided I need to spend more time with my family. So... see you after breakfast
Whenever I hear the phrase `anything is possible`, I giggle and think about someone trying to slam a revolving door :)
Hey Journey, I stopped believing. What now?
My neighbours diary say`s I have boundary issues.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of reasons why I drink in the first place?
Since 4th of July falls on a Wednesday do we drink the weekend before? the weekend after? That Wednesday? The entire week? The entire month? The entire year?
I painted a banner for our annual family picnic, but my Mom thought "Celebrating 100 Years of Undiagnosed Mental Illness" was inappropriate.
When asked how I take my coffee, I reply with, "Seriously. Very seriously."
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
B!tches be trippin ... OK, maybe I pushed one.
If you can`t tell the difference between delivery and Digiorno then you`re a f***ing idiot.