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SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
Nothing like responsibility to ruin a perfectly good day.
Saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons last night. ..Must be going through a tough period in her life.
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
Now that "twerk" has been added to the dictionary, I can`t wait for a Spelling Bee judge to be asked to use it in a sentence.
I got BOMBED last night and decided to do my own taxes and guess what! I`m getting 4 million dollars back this year!
"Go left at the chopsticks in the road" - Chinese directions
Let`s be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy DOESN`T think he`s the most interesting man in the world?
If it doesn’t make you afraid to go to the bathroom the next day, it’s not really hot sauce.
It`s that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids.
The Teen Choice Awards air last tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren`t allowed to vote.
Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, that chicken had to be somewhere between 7` to 10` tall.
Just stopped by my old high school and updated my phone number on all the bathroom stalls.
Someone invited me to their dog`s birthday party on Saturday. What a freak! I am NOT coming to your dog`s birthday party! Besides, my cat is getting married that weekend!
Once my ex knocked on my door & then shouted that it was her, so I texted “im not home” then seconds later I texted “if u happen to be here”