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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies
You girls are lucky, tampons are changing the end from a string to a bit of tinsel but its only for the Christmas period
I love how in movies when someone types a really embarrassing secret they always accidentally send it to the whole school, and they also coincidentally have the phone number of everyone.
List of things I’ve accomplished today: 1. Accomplishments List
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What`s on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started...
When I`m bored I like to call in sick to places I don`t work for. I`m getting written up at Kohls.
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
Its not you, it`s how you don`t make me sandwiches.
I can`t wait to get all liquored up, and then go door-to-door to sing some Christmas Carols when it starts to warm up in April...
Not clicking like on this status makes your a$$ look fat.
You know those adorable idiosyncrasies you loved about your spouse when first dating? Well, after 10 years of marriage they become what the police refer to as "motive".
DAMN IT!!!!! I just ripped the tag off one of my Beanie Babies! Now it`s worthless!!
An egg salad is really just a chicken salad that is really underdone.
I’m on a forgotten-name basis with quite a lot of people.
I just got pulled over by the US Border Patrol. The agent comes up to my window and says, "Papers?" I said, "Scizzors!! I win!!!." And drove off. Apparently the US Border Patrol didn`t think Paper beat Scizzors. Sore Losers!!