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I hide from people too, so I get it unicorns, I get it.
"You know, I wish I`d never gone to the pool that day." ~Marco Polo
My imaginary friend is bullying me.
someone told me I am immature and need to grow up ... so guess who is not allowed in my snow fort!!!
If you think my post are bad, you should see my choice in men.
Texting totally changes your perception of how long stoplights are.
To the woman that won the powerball ... "what`s up baby"
Sometimes you`ve got to ask yourself: `Why am I talking to myself?`
I hate it when you`re buying stuff off the Internet and the bank calls to check to see if your card has been stolen. Sure, it seems nice, but then you have to explain to lady on the phone that no, it was not stolen, you really are the one who bought a subscription to bustyblondes.com
If I’ve learned anything from Game of Thrones it’s that I need a wolf.
Whatever Mom, IF THAT`S EVEN YOUR REAL NAME!!!
Last night a movie theatre was robbed of $1000. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, a combo meal, and a box of milk duds.
I don`t feel like folding the laundry, so I just restart the dryer
Instead of going to Starbucks, I like to make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
My wife must have some big surprise vacation planned. She left a note by the bed telling me I had until tomorrow to have my bags packed.