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Vodka is just amazing water.
No matter how many lasagna’s you stack on top of each other, ultimately it’s always just one lasagna
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
People don`t want the ugly truth, they would prefer a beautiful lie.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house...
Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile ?
Some psychologists say that sleeping naked can help boost a person`s confidence, but nobody in this park seems to appreciate it.
Seems like you must have been pretty stupid to get caught for murder in the 1800s
Hey,,,, I said I`d be there in 10 minutes... Quit calling me every half hour.
If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?
I`m hoping to avoid a situation where I have to dance to save my own life.
If you are offended by the words "In God We Trust" on your money, then send it to me. I don`t mind it at all.
I can`t help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt
I have read so much about the dangers of drinking and smoking, that i have decided to quit reading
You had me at Rice Krispies Treats