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Anyone else immediately turn down the car radio the second you think you might be lost?
I just watched a puppy do something really cute. It was like a real life YouTube video.
Just belted the dog in the drivers seat and pushed the car up to the drive-thru window
I hardly know you…. but, Facebook says it’s your birthday, so happy birthday!
Make a random stranger`s day by walking up to them and saying "This isn`t real. You have to wake up"
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think “look at all these poor people who don’t know Netflix exists.”
Be nice to nerds. You`ll probably be working for them one day
My name is Fred and I`m a survivor. If you are out there..if anyone is out there. I can provide food/shelter..Anybody please....U are not alone....
My boss acts like during March Madness is the only time we`re less productive. Its cute
That horrible moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching…
I dont mind going to work, but this eight hour wait to go home is bullsh*t
Doctor told me to lose some weight, and suggested walking.So no more drive through taco bell. Now I park 5 spaces away and walk in
Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?
Women- God’s version of a Rubik’s cube.