Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Still not 100% clear on whether French Montana is a person or a steakhouse special.
When I want to trim down my friend`s Facebook list I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
My hatred for Nicki Minaj probably stems from my fear of clowns.
This would be a "Good Morning!" status update, but it`s not, because morning sucks.
I just don’t want to look back and think “I could’ve eaten that.”
Ok, I admit. Everything that`s wrong in your life is your fault.
I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me Limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking?
The most powerful I ever feel is waving pedestrians to walk in front of my car. “Go forth, and trust that I will not kill you.”
I`d be the stripper that got fired for eating her way out of the cake instead of jumping out of it.
Whenever I hear "let me tell you the truth", I secretly cross my fingers, hoping they say "brownies are healthy, eat as many as you want."
Before I lose my phone, end up naked, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Independence Day.
Breasts are like model trains. They were originally meant for children but grown men always want to play with them.
Back in my day it was called daydreaming…not ADHD.
in wine there is wisdom. in beer there is freedom. in water there is... umm bacteria