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I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
I don`t have friends, I have acquaintances and parasites.
Had a blast doing my Black Friday tradition!!!! I slept!
I did responsible things all day so tonight will consist of nothing that even resembles responsibility.
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life and you are starting back off at your last checkpoint.
I wonder if Alex Trebek’s tombstone will say ‘Who was the host of Jeopardy?’
A group of toddlers is called a migraine
When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one is that happy
Do you think the inventor of the USB will be buried twice? The 2nd time because they put him in the wrong way?
I may look calm, but in my head I´ve punched you in the face 3 times already!
Some days are better than others. And those days always involve alcohol.
I feel that being a smarta$$ is my duty. The pay sucks, but the work is very rewarding.
My motto for the night ... drink till I no longer think :)
So I danced like no one was watching. My court date is pending.