Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
People who try to test my patience don`t realize it`s an exam I don`t plan on passing
Instead of cleaning my house I just watch an episode of hoarders and think " Wow my house looks great"
Taking a nap is so risky. Like, when will I wake up? 30 minutes from now? 2 hours? 12 years? No one can be sure.
Walmart is one store where it is truly acceptable to shop in your pajamas.
I think God created marriage so death wouldn`t come as such a disappointment.
My New Years resolution is to stop procrastinating so much.
I think I may have just inadvertently accomplished something!!!
The toughest thing in business is minding your own.
I like to say "Do I smell popcorn?" right after I fart ..that way everyone quickly takes a deep breathe.
Helpful Tip: Use a tortilla as a lap napkin so you can still eat all the food you spill
I`m going to clean my house today and by clean I mean I`m drinking vodka and spraying Febreze everywhere.
Notice how writers don’t rewrite books, how about we stop remaking movies.
One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized.
Did we try giving the government a snickers?