Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hate when the person I Facebook-stalk never updates anything.
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
All the noises I used to make during sex, I now make getting up in my truck.
There`s never been a lazier group of people than the ones that settled on naming a candy bar "Whatchamacallit."
why call it ordering pizza and not the pursuit of happiness
I`m at the age where an "all-nighter" just means I didn`t have to get up to pee.
Coffee keeps me busy until it`s time to be drunk.
I`m fat, but I blame my dog for not exercising me enough.
“How are feeling today?” is a polite reminder that you were a mess the night before.
Know why girls cross their arms when they`re angry? Boobs. Just a little reminder of who`s in charge around here.
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
Depresso; the feeling you get when you`ve run out of coffee.
Pokémon means a totally different thing if you`re stuck in prison.
I will probably die as a result of being sarcastic to the wrong person at the wrong time.
I had a very confident breakdown today. ...Wasn`t nervous at all. ;)