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Oh and BTW,,, Why haven`t Pig Pen`s parents been visited by child services yet?
It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
I prefer my kale with a silent "K"
whenever i`m bored I just expect at any moment for the Koolaid man to break through my wall and take me on a deliciously refreshing adventure!
God made men. But sandwiches weren`t going to make themselves. So God made women.
When a girl says she wants you to splurge on her, calm down, it`s not what you think...
I wish I was a jedi, but mostly just so I didn`t have to bend over to pick up dog poop.
Wish some of my co workers weren`t allowed in the break room... Because that`s who I usually need a break from.
Men are usually too focused on the cleavage in the shirt to notice the crazy in the eyes.
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I only had to do it like 3 times a week. This every day thing is overkill.
Admit it, we all have that special someone we`d visit if given a tank to drive for a day
When I was a kid...no wait, I still do that.
change your birthday on facebook to today, see how many people say happy birthday for APRIL FOOLS!!!! lol
Me: I`m gonna lose weight. Me: I`m gonna exercise every day. Me: I`m gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?
`Google`` must be a woman, because it knows everything.