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If I could just make one thing very clear at this point ... I would.
I don’t need a reason to enjoy a little wine. All I need is a glass.
It’s amazing how much more money I have when I’m drunk.
People all around the world are out doing interesting and productive things right now. You are reading this.
Trust me when I say anyone can dance! - Jack Daniels
Let`s be honest, we all have someone on Facebook we wanna bang...with a pan.
The bouncer at the club calls me Kevin McAllister because I`m always going home alone
Actually, I prefer to smile on the `inside`, then no one knows what you`re up to....
I have NEVER faked a sarcasm in my life ;)
You know you had a good night when you have to Google map yourself in the morning to find out where the hell you are.
So much to do and so few alibis.
I don`t really like the idea that James Franco might be in my grandkids` history textbooks.
Look Bruce, just because you call it the "Batcave" doesn`t change the fact that you still live in your parents basement.
Has anybody seen my keys? they`re awesome.
I secretly like days when none of my Facebook friends have birthdays.