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If a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
Chocolate is a flavor of milk, and milk is a flavor of chocolate.
There aren`t enough love songs about the moment you see your luggage appear at baggage claim.
How come "you`re a peach" is a complement but "you`re bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?
Every time you get dressed remember that, if you die, that`s your ghost outfit forever.
I hate it when the movie trailer is better than the movie itself.
A drunk man walks into a bar...but enough about me...
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Objects in spandex are larger than they appear
YouTube is so addicting, I click on a music video and next thing you know I`m watching how to make ice cream.
I have an eating disorder; I`m about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of crap.
I want to live in a world where it’s never too late for breakfast food and never too early for pizza.
If Wal-Mart ends up selling mortgages, the trailer market will explode.
Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my lovers hair. It`s a nice way to let them know my love and also that we`re out of napkins.