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The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you dont have to mow it.
My girlfriend wanted me to show her a good time, so I showed her pictures of me before we met.
With the right person, you can talk about absolutely nothing for hours & feel like you spoke about everything.
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means that I dropped them on the way from the dryer
We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in
I`ve just realised that I`ve got one of those cool body types that can eat whatever I want and get fat.
wants to jump in a cab and yell "follow that car!"
Walmart needs observation decks.
Forecast for tonight: Alcohol, low standards, and poor decisions.
I have decided to give up procrastinating for Lent ... oh, crap.
My friend David had his ID stolen yesterday. We just call him Dav now
Of course China is dominating the olympics, they probably made all of the equipment.
I can see your camouflage pants, so they`re not working.
Good For OJ, he gets to take another stab at life..