Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Life is too short to be kissing the wrong a$$.
Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.
HA! If you think I`M crazy you should meet ME!
If I had a time machine I`d go back to 900 A.D. and just scare the sh!t out of people with an electric toothbrush.
It is amazing how a nice pair of boobs can hide serious flaws and signs of mental illness until after you marry them!
Apparently somebody gets stabbed every 52 seconds...sucks to be that guy
Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind a guy on a stationary bike and pretend you`re angrily chasing him.
I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and Facebook.
Its hotter than a three peckered billy goat!
You call them “cuss words.” I choose to call them “sentence enhancers.”
My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night.
The list of things I won’t eat if covered in chocolate gets smaller everyday.
The only thing Facebook has ever done for me is make me realize a lot of my friends are idiots.
They`ll find Bigfoot before they find a Smoothie store that`s been open for more than 2 years.
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.