Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you use karate instead of a knife your wife won`t ask you to cut the vegetables anymore
Men are like cheap dishes - easily broken & completely replaceable!
"5 React 2 Gum-- Experiences may vary. Stimulate your senses!"-- Same effect as LSD, but chewier.
Facebook is the best place to say whatever you want. If it doesn’t go over well you can just say you were hacked.
I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "the Illuminaughty".
Say what you want about Captain Hook, but he ran that entire pirating operation singlehandedly.
This donut scented car freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
The last time I saw something as ugly as your face I pinned a tail on it.
Guys, if she says she`s crazy, she`s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
I went to the missing persons` beurau. No one was there.
I’m jealous of a book character for having sex with another character but sure come ask my advice about your marriage.
I assume that a Columbus Day sale means I can just walk into a store and take whatever I want.
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.
Research shows that 100% of the time when someone says “oh no she didn’t!” she most definitely did.
A homeless man just asked me if I was having a bad hair day, so I took my dollar back.