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According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low...Well, sure, it`s hard to steal a car when the owner`s living in it...
Stovetop Directions: 1.) Use microwave.
lol I rotfl
If I`m not back in ten minutes ... then just wait longer.
I have a tremendous sex drive ... My girlfriend lives 25 miles away.
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have s€x.
If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them...
People who have more than 10 items in the express line… We see you and we are judging you.
“I wish there was a more convenient way to stalk others”- The phrase that started Facebook.
To be honest, I´m just fishing for compliments tonight.
I don’t trust public opinion polls because they don’t take into consideration the fact that the public is made up of mostly idiots.
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
I want my children to have all the things I never had so then I can move in with them.
Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?
Back in the day, Mom gave us two dinner choices. What she cooked or jack sh!t....