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People will do odd things to get even.
iOS 8 let`s you passcode lock specific apps? It`s fun imagining how many break ups that will cause.
The larger the implants, the more likely she’ll be confused by a push/pull door.
Watching a movie with the girlfriend tonight. Can anyone recommend a good girlfriend?
I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.
Nothing says "I dont take you seriously" like your dog wagging his tail when you`re yelling at him.
I`m not saying your house is haunted, but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy Bears while you were in the bathroom.
I’m not so much goofing off as impersonating upper management.
So far, I am 100% at believing what happened next on Facebook links.
My house is not messy. Those are just obstacles I`ve put in place for burglars.
According to Pinterest, I`m severely under-utilizing mason jars.
Here’s a joke for all you mind readers out there…
Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, “try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal”
For your final meal request to eat the electric chair and then the warden will be like well now what do we do he ate our electric chair
Here`s where I draw the line: ___________________________.