Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just did my budget for August. If I don`t buy food ... I won`t need toilet paper. I think I`m on to something here.
No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
If you see me drinking coffee from a to-go cup in public after 3 pm, that coffee is booze in disguise.
So what if Jesus turned water into wine... I turned a whole student loan into beer once. your move Jesus.
Tyler on Facebook says he ran 1.7 miles this morning… So based on calculations, I have 35 minutes to ransack his house tomorrow morning.
If a girl bangs ten dudes in a year she is a slut. If a guy done he`s gay. Definitely gay.
My bank account is more like a countdown to my homelessness
A man is as faithful as his options
Try Zumba, It`s awesome ... on my way to the emergency room.
I have problems cleaning my house because I get distracted by all the fun things I find.
If you feel like you’re about to punch someone, take a deep breath. Then exhale as you punch to get more power.
Why is it when I flush the toilet in the middle of the night, I have a feeling I woke up the entire neighbourhood?
Excellent Group Ice Breaker: Do you think sailors feel pressured to swear?
My doctor recommended I increase the amount of Greens in my diet...so I started drinking more Rolling Rock.
Don`t sweat the petty things and don`t pet the sweaty things.