Daily Silly Status

Any psycho girls wanna hang out? Just text me like 5000 times and let me know.

This hangover feels like Quentin Tarantino directed it.

If there`s one thing I`ve learned, it`s that I should have learned some other stuff.

We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes

I only call them yoga pants because Netflix and eat leftovers pants was too long.

When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, “Yes, we’ve met before.” So they feel awkward trying to remember me.

My neighbour has diabetes and now she won`t make me cupcakes anymore, its like bad things always happen to me.

lord, we beg you for tupac, and in return you can have justin bieber

There are four main food groups: 1. Canned 2. Frozen 3. Fried 4. Drive-thru

Apparently members of the Westboro Baptist Church were outside a theater when the marquee gave way and came crashing down injuring several of them amidst their protest. Witnesses overhead many of the members muttering to themselves, "It must be a sign."

I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.

Hopefully because of social networking, I`ve tarnished my reputation enough for anybody to ever place me in a role of great responsibility.

Thanks to my mom, I put my name on all of my underwear so they`re easier to spot when I go through the bar`s lost and found box.

Most of the lies I tell aren`t even true!

I don`t know karate, but I do know crazy, and I`m not afraid to use it.