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Do you think that the guy who invented the vibrator heard voices saying, "if you build it they will come"?
Tonight’s forecast. Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
I read an actual newspaper today! For those of you who don`t understand, a newspaper is like the Internet but made of paper.
Why do they call a grapefruit a grapefruit? I mean there is already a fruit called a grape!!
I`m selling my browser history on eBay before the government does.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something
I don`t know if I have a stalker, but if I do could you drop off some beer? Thanks
I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked.
Started working on my taxes today and learned why the form is called 1040. For every $50 I make, I get $10 and the gov`t gets $40...
Shout out to hotel maids changing sheets on February 15th.
You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...
My haters only have one advantage over me. They can kiss my a$$, I can`t.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody`s there to appreciate it.
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.