Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Life is basically trying to meet better people than the ones you currently know.
The only time I want to hear about your baby is when you tell me it ain`t mine.
There`s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
The sun shouldn`t be allowed to come out until after your hangover.
If airports are so safe, why are the buildings called Terminal
Ever wonder if the McDonalds logo is the letter "m" or just an image of your butt cheeks it will cause?
You don’t look like 200 likes in person.
Messing up a guy’s hair = cute. Messing up a girl’s hair = putting your life on the line.
I bet people don’t understand that I’m joking 800% of the time.
Talk to me long enough and you`ll realize why I`m single.
A "Lifetime Movie" describes how long it felt when you were watching it.
Some people are like eye-candy... I`m more like eye-meatloaf.
According to my current parking spot, I`m Chief of Police.
Adam Levine beating me out for sexiest man contest is complete bullsh*t.
FACT: Men are much less likely to divulge a secret than women. Probably because they weren`t really listening to begin with.