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Sometimes my neighbors love my music so much that they invite the police to listen.
I wonder if "Sober Me" knows that "Drunk Me" can Breakdance?
If you borrow my laptop and the volume is at 16% go wash your hands immediately
I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.
The old saying "I wouldn`t wish this on my worst enemy"... Clearly you have forgotten why they are your worst enemy.
Have the people who designed wine glasses ever washed dishes in their lives?
When I was little my dad had me convinced that the Ice Cream truck only played music when it was sold out. Well played Dad, well played.
I have difficulty sleeping at night because I lay awake obsessing over life`s mysteries, like how exactly does paper beat rock.
According to Debrah in HR, "Back up off my balls" is not the proper way to tell someone to wait for assistance.
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet ! But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
My bank lets me send a text message and it will text back with my balance. Its a cool feature but I didn`t think the LOL was necessary.
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
Sometimes, I don`t know how I`m going to get through the day. Then I remember: I have beers waiting for me at home. I can do this for them
My neighbors listen to AC/DC at 6:00 every morning. Whether they like it or not...
Do you like the strong, silent type? Then you`ll love my farts.