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Stop saying `all the men are the same` who told you to try them all..WHORE!!?¿
Our office just got a new conference table. It sleeps 20.
I saw a midget carrying a tv to his car today. I said "hey, would you like some help with that plasma?" He said "f*ck off asshole, it`s an IPad!"
Don`t believe everything you think.
I`ll just admire you from afar.. Or 500ft. That`s what this paper says.
My stomach just growled so hard I thought I was getting a text message.
If you are what you eat then where is this place that a ton of people are eating stupid?
If you are alone and feeling lonely, fart. Someone always walks in after you fart.
A lot of guys get married just because they`re hungry.
roses are red,violets are blue,god made me beautiful, what happen to you..
And suddenly those annoying neighbors that leave their Christmas lights up all year long look like geniuses.
If your conspiracy theory doesn`t involve cats and dogs, don`t bother me.
The less you know, the more you think you do.
If you’re telling me to relax, it’s probably your fault that I’m not.
I was just told that I over-analyze things. I need a couple of days to think about that before deciding if I should be offended.