Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Man, this Trojan gum I bought tastes terrible ... Blows amazing bubbles though
My horoscope started with `are you sitting down?`
Stop saying `all the men are the same` who told you to try them all..WHORE!!?¿
condoms prevent minivans
I don’t want to be a millionaire, I just want enough money to be able to stare off into the distance while pumping gas.
Lying in bed, listening to the Doors. I really should oil the hinges...
Never make an arm wrestle bet with a guy who has been single for longer than 6 months.
Who`s further now, the Energizer Bunny or Voyager 1?
I really like that machine at the gym where you put money into it and snacks come out.
If you don’t count any of my failures, I’m quite successful.
Is anyone else`s alcohol tolerance too high for their paycheck?
Awkward moment when you just wanted a sugar daddy but becomes the First Lady of America!
Maybe one day a loooong time ago a kid decided to play hide and seek with his pet Bigfoot but just didn`t explain the game properly.
I have to be funny because being hot is not an option.
I just called my boss and told him I have explosive diarrhea. It’s my day off, but I like to keep him informed.