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So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m
When I get home the first thing I`m going to do is rip my wife`s panties off. Because they`re too small and the elastic is killing me.
Not to brag, but I don`t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it`s just a diagnosis.
On your birthday I think the Airlines should let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide.
I`m sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
I suspects that whoever named that Icelandic volcano (Eyjafjallajokull) must have fallen asleep on their keyboard while thinking it up.
I keep my TV volume at "screw the neighbors".
If anybody steals my identity, at least I’ll know who to look for.
It`s hard to be a good person when kids fit so perfectly into trash cans.
Life is tough. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like the rest of us.
Do I misuse contractions? Yes, but it`s what it`s.
Hubby wanted to start the new year out with a bang - So I shot him..
Why eat a carrot when you can just as easily not eat a carrot?
Facebook is like a fridge full of old food you know what is in your fridge but still you go and check if it changed.