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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Sometimes, you can just tell it`s gonna be a "does not play well with others" kind of day.
"They Dared Me To" should be a legitimate excuse in a Court of Law.
I watch CSI for the great tips they give out.
I`ll never understand why single women waste so much time on dating websites when there are so many eligible bachelors right here in this adult bookstore.
i spend 800% off my life exaggerating
When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone’s numbers again, I text them: β€œGuess who?” for 2 weeks.
Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on?
Breakfast in bed probably means you are dating someone. Dinner in bed means you`re probably single.
I hate those new parents who do the `baby talking`, yes I do, yes I do...
I`m sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
I hate when I`m about to hug somebody really sexy and my face hits the mirror!!
I was at a nice restaurant tonight and accidentally left out a loud fart. 4 people turned around. For a minute, I thought I was on "The Voice".
I sneak alcohol into work because I`m a problem solver.
Just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellant. Now, he’ll never have any friends.