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?-- that guy is cute ?
twinkle twinkle little star ... point me to the nearest bar.
I`m changing my voicemail greeting to: Please hang up and text me, thanks. ;)
It`s great how you have legs that can take you away from a conversation when you don`t feel like listening to people anymore
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they look.
Maybelline claims to make eyelashes appear three times longer…..I think they should start making condoms.
The ski racks on my car say I’m fun, adventurous, and can’t figure out how to take the ski racks off my car.
My credit score is just a picture of me crying in the front yard of a nice house.
I wish I had my own private chauffeur. . . . Then I could really commit to being an alcoholic!
I need u to do me a favor... Stand in front of my car please... I need to test my brakes :)
Does this couch I`m laying on make me look unmotivated?
I`m tired of hearing about Republicans this and Democrats that. For Christ`s sake people, don`t you realize on July 15th the Twinkie comes back?!?!?!?!
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
A friend of mine told me i have to update my self and I asked my self : does he mean there can be a latest version of me?
I dream about naps.