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It`s funny how when you post a status and some people think it`s about them..Hahahaha it was.
You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
Superman and Batman probably had a lot of "capes in the toilet water" accidents when they went to take a dump.
Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating...
Why would anybody put 99 bottles of beer up on a wall in the first place?
likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it`s Monday.
About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
Porn is the only type of entertainment where "not watching the whole thing" means it was good.
Awkward moment when you just wanted a sugar daddy but becomes the First Lady of America!
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn`t make the cut.
Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.
Over 400 billion people a year are victims of exaggerated statistics.
Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name "fire place"
I secretly like days when none of my Facebook friends have birthdays.
They say children are a gift from god. I`m totally wide-open to regifting.