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Let`s run away together.. Lol jk, I don`t run anywhere.
Most advanced telescopes use mirrors so we really have no way to know how many vampires are in space
Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throw away ANYTHING, EVER. I smuggle out broken crayons like a Mexican drug lord..
Tenderizing the meat sounds a lot sexier than it is
I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous.
"I`d hit that!" -Helpful blackjack dealer
Any woman can make you a Millionaire.. You only have to be a Billionaire first.
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
I never mix business with pleasure, ......unless i call an escort.
I`m only materialistic when I shop at the liquor store.
Ya know what I really hate about mornings? People start talking to me!
I have decided to give up procrastinating for Lent ... oh, crap.
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k … I don’t think I can run that far!
Sometimes I do totally awesome and amazing things just to throw people off.