Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Shouldn`t there have been at least one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
I believe in love at first episode.
The last time I got drunk I married Satan..I`m not doing either one again
can be sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate, welcoming, loyal, trust-worthy, forgiving, understanding, and giving. But not to today!
Just because you have a beard doesn`t mean you`re a man. Last time I checked vaginas can grow hair too.
Gym update: not there
FUN THING TO WRITE ON A POST CARD: “Weather is great, having tons of fun! Are you still planning to murder your mailman?”
I have a kid in Africa I inoculate, feed, clothe and send to school for only $1 day. It cost a lot to send him over there though.
Long busy day, I need one of those hugs that turns into sex.
I hate mosquitoes, I mean I know I’m delicious but damn.
I dont need to control my anger everyone around me needs to control their habit of pissing me off!
The filling in this fortune cookie tastes like paper...
Can I tell you how terribly grateful I am that no one had cell phones, iPads or digital cameras when I had to squaredance in P.E.
Grabbed Pizza Roll. Thought "my god that is so hot it`s burning my fingers" and immediately popped it in my mouth ... I`m a goddamn genius.
I think Labor Day is to remind people that after a full day with the family, going to work actually isn`t so bad after all.