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If it`s true that we are here on earth to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
My greatest fear is standing on stage in front of millions while my Google search history is read aloud...
"We have smaller, secret pants that we wear under our normal pants..." - me explaining underwear to aliens.
A mistress is something between a Mister and a mattress.
I`m not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell.
I’ve discovered, the easiest way to change a flat tire is by not wearing a bra.
Quick Hide! Monday is Coming!!
Hi everyone! Welcome to AA. This is a "judgment free" zone...unless we`re talking about Janice who ate all the cookies last week.
There are days when everything goes perfectly. . I wonder what those are like?
I`ll never be to old to redecorate your garden gnomes in the middle of the night.
If you don’t already hate people, the mall is a great place to start.
Fitness? More like fitness whole cheesecake in my mouth.
How does anything ever get done at the bubble wrap factory?
I`m so out of shape, Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me.
I called McDonald`s to make a reservation for Valentine`s Day, just to listen to the stammering and confusion from the kid answering the phone.